Photo: Pregnant Chicken
1. "Are you pregnant?" Do not guess if she's pregnant. Never. Ever. Ever. - Two reasons, a) if you're wrong...
b) if you're right, you just robbed her of the joy of announcing it. Don't rain on her parade. It's her news to share when she's ready and how she's dreamed of doing it. Which brings me to..
2. If she tells you she's pregnant, don't respond with "I KNEW IT!" (See reason 'b' stated above - don't rain on her parade). "Again?!" is also a 'no-no'. A smile and 'congratulations, how are you feeling?' is all that's necessary.
3. "Was it planned?" - Really, it isn't your business on the intent or lack-there-of, of the pregnancy. Does it change the end result of a human being? No. Do you really think I want to discuss our birth control methods (or not) with you?
4. "You know what causes that, right?!" - As humorous as you may think this is, you just invited yourself into a conversation about her bedroom life. Personally, I can't think of anyone I would discuss this part of my life with besides my husband. Clearly we're really good at it, let's leave it at that, mmkay?
5. "You should learn to keep your legs shut!" - Umm, seriously? Again, whose business is that but me and my husband's and HOW does that effect you at all? Is it sleazy to sleep with your own husband?
6. "You're done now, right? You should stop." - Tell me which one of my (completely adorable) babies you would like to look in the eye and tell them they shouldn't be here?
7. "You look HUGE" often followed by, "Are you sure there's only one in there?". If I had the excuse of multiples, you better believe that would be the first thing out of my mouth. Heck, I'd wear a t-shirt announcing it. Multiples are a hard thing to ignore, so yes, I'm sure there is only one in there. Thank you for confirming that I look as ginormous and disgusting as I feel. You do know that I am growing an entire human being and all of their life support (and post natal food supply) all within my body where my organs used to be, right?
Post baby:
8. "You look great .... for just having a/your 3rd/ etc. baby!" Why the disclaimer? You should have stopped while you were still kind.
What would you add to the list?
